Life...will not be the same without Panjo

Panjo is the handicapped Pomeranian that my family adopted eight years ago. Panjo can't use his back legs and had spinal chord issues from the time he was born. Every time he peed, he had to lift his two back legs in the air and stand on his front feet, and his pee would fall down onto his chest. We had to clean him every time he finished. He barely had teeth, so he had to eat special liquid food. It sounds like a burden, but it wasn't at all, compared to the smiles and laughs we received from his strange behavior and loyal look in his eyes. It turned out that Panjo was the one "giving "more than "receiving".

Panjo went with my family almost everywhere. He always slept in a bag with Pear, my 3-legged female Pomeranian - they were buddies. When at home, Panjo slept on his cushion at the end of my bed. Every time I walked anywhere he followed me, not ever letting his crippled legs become a burden; he was like my shadow.

The look Panjo gave me, always full with love and loyalty - there are no other looks that can compare to how he looked at me.

Yesterday, I was talking to an architect about a house I am planning to build and move to with some of the dogs. While I was talking to him, Panjo was at my feet as always, listening, but he might have thought he was a burden or was being abandoned - which is not true and would never have been true.


My husband took this pic of Panjo last night, I think it was a few hours before Panjo took his breath out of his body and went to the rainbow bridge


Panjo and Pear during our family 's vacation at Samui last year. Panjo was always a big part of our family.


this was one of Panjo's favourite corner
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Panjo decided to take his breath out of his body and went to the rainbow bridge last night. My husband found him sleeping, frozen with his eye closed at the place he always slept. It's just that this morning, he didn't wake up to look at me with 'the look' that nothing else compares to. He didn't stand up on his two front feet to run after me when I went out to offer food to the monks or exercise. When I walked back, there was no Panjo to wait for me at the same spot with the loving, loyal look as always.

I knew this day had to come. I just didn't expect that I wouldn't have the chance to say good-bye to tell him I love him or to tell him how much he meant to my heart and my every day life.

Life my continue. But my life, my every day atmosphere in the house will never be the same without the look and breath of Panjo.