Before 2009 will past by

In late 2008, I wrote to friends all over the world that other than wishing you all a happy New Year, I also said 2009 will be one of the toughest and most challenging year of our lifetime. I do not know if my friends remember my words, but those words have always been a mental reminder to myself and my family . It seems that the year 2009, which is about to pass by in hours, my family and I faced many obstacles. So much so I wondered why all the hardships all came about in 2009. But I believe that we worked through them well. Some, we chose to forgive. Some, we accept the consequences. And some, we are still fighting to the best of our abilities. We are hoping that 2010 will be a year where it'll be our turn to be victorious.



I will summarise the obstacles, and how we dealt with them. Just the main things that affected our feelings and lives heavily.



Obstacles

There was a lady in Florida, whom we, in this instance, will call Diana, who approached me in mid-2007. We became friends, and I thought at the time that it was such a wonderful friendship. She requested one of my best ever female puppy, whom, we will in this instance, call Thai Silk, the best daughter of Cash and Jimlim. I agreed to trade Thai Silk to Diana in return for one puppy back from Diana at a later date. She also promised to show Thai Silk because this was the big request from me.



I sent Thai Silk to Diana in early 2009, and I transferred the ownership of Thai Silk to Diana without any written contract, as I should have done. Who would have thought of such a contract when the friendship between the two of us was beautiful. Many months later, I wondered why Diana hasn't mention sending back the puppy she promised. Her communication began to break down. I asked her many times, both to show Thai Silk as promised, and for her to send her puppy to me, as promised, or pay for Thai Silk, or send Thai Silk back to me. At first Diana said she will be sending back Thai Silk to me, but when she saw that I was serious, she told me to get out of her life. She just said that she knew Thai Silk was born to be hers, and if I don't leave her alone, she would do something to me because she has many friends in the board of the AKC and Chihuahua Club of America. She said that the fact that she hasn't called in the FBI is already merciful of her because I was a foreigner messing with an American like her.



This is just a summary. In fact, along the way, there were many tragedies, which broke my heart to a thousand pieces. I loved her, trusted her, and couldn't believe that she would do such thing.



How we got through it

At the time, I was very angry with Diana. I didn't care that she threatened me that she had many friends on the board of AKC and the Chihuahua Club of America. The fact that she mentioend the FBI was even more amusing. I was not afraid at all. In that moment, I thought of retaliating to her in many ways. I even thought of flying to America to face off with her. But after being comforted by my family and my friends from all over the world, and from meditating for many nights, it made me remember a belief from my faith that every life that harms one another, is due to karma, which tie each one to another. Diana and I were born in two different corners of the world,how could she have hurt me, betrayed me so badly. It must be old karma. I must have cheated her and hurt her in cold-blood with black heart in a past life. Diana has only just returned to avenge me in this life. If I retaliate, it would only create more karma to tie the two of us together in future lives. This, I do not want. I want to end this karma between Diana and me, in this life. So I choose to forgive her, and wish for a very good life for her. At the very least, if she has a good life, it would mean well for my Thai Silk who is with her. I have forgiven Diana for some time now, and I have found my heart to be empty. Not heated, and filled with happiness from the friendships with my other friends, some of whom I knew before I knew Diana, some around the same time, and some after I knew Diana. These friendships remain beautiful, and they are more valuable than the fake friendship Diana gave to me.



Diana, I forgive you.

Obstacle

The year 2009 has been one of the worst year in terms of world economics. My family and I are just like any other families in my country, suffering from it. The business run by my husband and I face losses, which forced us into backruptcy. Our customers, fell, first, into this state, and it had a domino effect onto us.

My daughter, Saiyai, who went to study for her Masters Degree at NYU, with a loan from Citi Bank, had her loan cancelled, due to the recession, after just one term of studies. At the time, my family had the burden of supporting two sons. The middle child, was studying at an international university in Thailand, and the youngest one was studying at the University of British Columbia, Canada. My youngest son was studying there on partial scholarship.

How we dealt with it

When my daughter,Saiyai had her loan cancelled, she wanted to stop her studies and return to Thailand. But her youngest brother, Kawee, offered to be the one to stop his studies. His reason was that Saiyai only had another year to go, but he still has three more years to go, so dropping out for just a year is not a big deal. So that was our plan. Saiyai continued her studies at NYU. Our family invest most of our money at her studies there. Saiyai worked at the university's library to make some money as well. As for Kawee, he flew back to Thailand.

Kawee decided to use this one and a half year off university to work on translating Buddhist texts for the Dhammakaya foundation of the Dhammakaya temple, which has always been a source of spiritual sanctuary for our family. It turns out to be a year and a half, which will be of great use to Kawee, and good karma for him. It's not a year and a half wasted, but one that every minute counts. I am proud that my son chose to use his time in such a way. He is also the one who updates my website, and write my emails and blogs, which most of you will already know it is why I have been able to communicate with you so good,hahaha.

As for Saiyai, a term later, Saiyai informed our family that the university of NYU has helped her to be able to make a loan from the Manhattan Bank to finance her studies. This happened because Saiyai has excellent academic records, and due to the kindness of of the directors and professors of the university to help her. This mean my family and I only invested most of our money into her studies for just one term. Now that she has the loan, my family and I are feeling more relaxed.

Obstacles

Our family found out a shocking news that my sister was suffering from lung cancer, final stage. It was a most shocking news because she has always seems to healthy both physically and mentally. There has never been any sign that she had this illness, and particularly at a stage that was almost beyond recovery.

My brother was also ill. The doctors found a tumor on his brain, and he required an emergency operation. The second he entered the surgery room, and the doctor told us that his chances were 50/50, I felt like dropping dead because he has a wife and a small child. He also helps look after dogs for me, both the show dogs and the dogs we rescued.

How we got through it

The brain surgery for my brother went well, in exchange for a large sum of money. But since he survived, as well, that large sum of money didn't seems so big anymore. My brother is my partner. He looks after dogs for me. Since the surgery, he decided to have an early retirement and devoted all his time on our dogs. It turns out that I spent a lot of money to save his life, in order for him to look after my dogs, LOL. My brother loves the dogs, and looks after them very well. Now, he spend every minute with his daughter, wife, and our dogs.

As for my sister, she is still alive, even though the time limit the doctor gave her, has been exceeded for years. The only sign of her sickness is that she tires more easily and her body no longer responds to the chemo-therapy. But she still remains upbeat and her skin still looks beautiful. Her heart still full of kindness for others. She still enjoys watching movies with her nieces, and enjoys singing as ever. She prays passionately and enjoys the Dhamma of Buddhism. She still cares for others, as ever. She doesn't seem to worry about her sufferings. She said, since the moment she knew she had cancer, final phase, she counts her every minute as profit. She thinks she has been very profitable. She tries not to be a burden. We wish and pray for her to remain this profitable.

The illness of my brother and sister, confirmed to me that there are true friends in this world, even with some people whom we've never met. Why am I saying this? Many of you, my friends, prayed hard for my sister and brother. I know that all of you still continues to pray. Many of you still ask about my brother and my sister, even when I didn't mention them. I am not happy about the illness of my brother and my sister. But I am impressed that these things made me realize that I still have many true kind friends, other than my family.

Obstacle

As many friends know, my husband and I were sued by two neighbors about our dogs. Throughout the trial, we never thought we would lose. We knew that we didn't disturb our neighbors, but the unexpected happened, when the court judged us to lose. There were many reasons for us to realize why we lost, and they served as a lesson for us in our appeal.

I changed my lawyer, and studied the case. I worked much more closely with the new lawyer. I was not complacent like before. The task is tougher, because we lost at the initial court. But, we must try harder to find new evidence, and new supporting witnesses for the appeal. In this appeal, my husband, my family, and I keep telling ourselves that we cannot afford to lose. We have the lives of our dogs at stake. It's our lives at stake as well. We cannot imagine how we're going to live in such a big house without our dogs. Our lives, if absent of our dogs, would be like a day without sunshine. Our lives would be dry. And the lives, which we say are so short, would seem too long if we have to live without our dogs.

How we got through it

In fact, we haven't negotiated past this obstacle yet. We are working on it. The new lawyer suggested I gathered supportive letters from my friends, and customers, who knew me, my family, my house, and my work, so that it can be evidence of the good work I have done, and how well I look after my dogs, and ofcourse , we don't disturb our neighbours.

Actually, the gathering of supportive letters was an idea by Ellika and Peter, our friends in Sweden. When I told the idea to my lawyer, it sparked some hope for us to be able to gather new evidence and supporters. So, I ask this favour from my friends, both in Thailand and from around the world. Of course, many friends in Thailand didn't hesitate to support me. Why wouldn't they, they know me well. But believe it or not, friends from all over the world also provided feedback which really moved me. Of course, there were some friends who I expected support, but they actually showed hesitation. There were also a few friends who refused to support due to the reason, "not wanting to lie to the court," and "we haven't known each other for long enough." When I first heard these reasons, my heart broke, but afterwards I was happy with this because in these hard times, it made me realize who my true friends were and who I should not waste my time with.

As I've said, there were friends who refused me or showed hesitation, but there were also many whom helped with unexpectedly. The latter group far exceed the former. Right now, the support letters are with my lawyer, but I also have the copies in my computer. You know, I open up these letters to read everyday. It fills my heart with happiness. In a big cruel world filled with selfish people, to find people who support us without hesitation and wanting anything in return, it is so wonderful. No matter what the outcome of the appeal (I do hope and pray I win) what you have done for me, the letter you wrote to support me, it will be like medicine to heal my heart for the rest of my life. I can't help but feel grateful for your support.

The year 2010, will be another challenging year for us and for me. Many things that happened badly to me in 2009 have wounded me, but it also makes me stronger, and helps me chin up and walk ahead into 2010. I hope that all my friends, will be, feel, and hope the same. I hope that our special relationships will last into 2010, and long into the years to come.

Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for being my friends. Happy 2010 to you all.